Agnitio
by Nica
Summary: MA Something very bad happens. Will Alec survive? And will Max be able to tell him how she feels? Part IV is up!
1. Default Chapter

Title: Agnitio  
  
Summary: Alec is clueless....it's kinda short for more so I suppose you just have to read it. ;-)  
  
Disclaimer: Nothing's mine  
  
Author's Note: This is really short but I'm already working on the second part. But please be patient. I hope you like it. Love, Nica

Author's Note2: The title 'agnitio' is latin and means 'realization'.

* * *

_Sometimes you are too blind to see the truth. And when you're beginning to see it, it is probably already too late._

  
**Agnitio**__

I want to reach out

and touch your face,

drying your salty tears.

But you're so far away.

Why?

I don't understand.

Why are you crying?

It breaks my heart

to see you so alone.

I want to be near you,

soothing you,

wash away the pain

you're feeling.

But why?

I'm clueless.

I'm yelling!

Why don't you hear me?

Your sobs died down,

but you still look haunted

and guilty.

Maxie, tell me why?

I feel your hand on mine,

See the new tears.

I'm so lost in your eyes,

but then something's tearing me away -

from you,

from the love

into the cold.

And then I realize…


	2. Part II

Title: Agnitio – Part II

Summary: It's kinda short so I suppose you just have to read it.

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine

Author's Note: Thanks to the ones who reviewed! You're great.

* * *

_Death is not the end of life, it's a new beginning._

**Agnitio**_   
(Part II)_

Oh, this is not real -

I must be dreaming…

Why are you lying there?

So pale and fragile?

I want to wake up

from this nightmare.

I want to run

from the truth -

I'm starting to see.

No!

And then I loose it…

my tears are flowing freely.

I'm sobbing so hard

it hurts so much.

I'm praying

that you won't leave me alone.

I want you to hold me -

want you to annoy me

So I'd feel alive and

loved.

My sobs died down

but the haunting feelings are still there.

I'm so tired,

I'm so scared

of loosing you.

Oh god, I feel so guilty!

I'm so sorry!

Please believe me…

I'll tell you everything and -

Why.

I take your hand in mine

to show you the way

but you won't follow me.

Your skin feels so cold.

Where are you?

It's so hard to see your body

but not your soul -

through the hazel eyes of yours.

New tears are fallin'

at the memory of you

laughing and joking.

I want you back!

So don't give up!

I need you!

So be brave!

I'm shivering -

But why?

The reason lets me freeze…

The monitor's steady beeping is gone…


	3. Part III

Title: Agnitio – Part III

Summary: It's too short for a summary. You just have to read it.

Disclaimer: uhm let's start: Alec's mine, Max is mine, Mole is mine, Logan's not… nah just kidding! Of course nothing belongs to me.

Author's Note: yayyy…I got a few reviews for the last part! Thank you guys!

* * *

"_If it happens it happens. If not, it wasn't meant to be."_

_  
_**Agnitio**  
_(Part III)_

It was too late…

you know – it was fate.

Wasn't meant to be.

But don't worry

about me.

I'm alright!

There's no pain,

no war –

I'm just free.

I wish you could see,

wish you could feel

the way I do.

'cause I can see the guilt

in your eyes.

But let me tell you

it's not your fault!

Oh my God –

I know life isn't fair

and I hate it to see

you standing there –

broken and lifeless.

Your long, once shiny, hair

is looking now

like the total mess.

Raindrops mixed with salty tears

are falling down

your ashen face –

showing all your fears.

But don't be afraid!

I will always be with you.

And don't look so sad!

Smile for me!

I want you

to be happy.

So move on!

Please forgive me

for letting go.

And please believe me

I know

how you feel…

I always knew and I ever will.

Now don't look down at my grave

but look up to the sky –

up into my soul.

No longer ask "why",

'cause we will be

together again –

not today and not tomorrow

but I will always wait for you.


	4. Part IV

Title: Agnitio – Part IV

Summary: It's too short for a summary. You just have to read it.

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.

Author's Note: Well…nothing much to say. Your opinion would be nice, though.

* * *

**Agnitio**

_(Part IV)_

Weeks have passed

and you're still not back.

And I'm beginning to realize

you'll never be.

With that,

new tears are falling

down my face.

I feel exhausted, soo tired.

I barely sleep,

I barely live.

It hurts!

Why?

Why did you not fight?

Why did you leave me alone?

The answers I will never know.

But I know,

you'd want me to move on.

But I'm sitting here

in the rain,

still dealing with the loss.

All alone.

There's so much pain!

It breaks me!

It's killing me…

and I don't care.

All I want

is to be there –

with you!

I look up into the sky,

watching the dark clouds move by.

It feels like

you're staring down at me.

Scolding me for crying.

But damn!

What should I do?

For God's sake,

I miss you!

I love you!  
I hate you –

for making me feel so numb.

I hate you!

For making me care so much.

But mostly I hate you,

because I can't even hate you!

And I know

deep in me

what I have to do -

need to do -

to make this sadness go away.

To find a reason

for living.

To be with you.

Today's the day

and I hope

you understand.

You said you'd wait,

now the waiting will have an end.

I get up,

look up to you,

inhale the rainy air

and slowly close my eyes…

…and then I jump…


End file.
